“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”
Your Heart’s Desire:
Did you know the universe actively seeks to grant our hearts’ desires? It is an ask, and you shall receive type of thing. While not all our wishes are granted, a good portion of them do get fulfilled.
Here’s an example of how simple it is to ask and receive:
I once wrote about 10 things I wanted (some were easily attainable, and others required more time and effort). I left the note alone and went about my life. A few months later, I stumbled on the list only to realize I’d gotten everything on that list.
Although the universe continually works in our favor, mixed messages block us from getting what we want.
Here’s another example: I might want to find the love of my life, but what am I actively doing to heal the blocks that stop me from experiencing love? If I've been sending the universe mixed messages, that will signify to the universe that I'd rather be safe in my own company than risk it to find love.
2 essential values are at odds - love and safety. Guess what results I’m creating? A single status on my Facebook account, tax returns, etc.
In this case, the universe delivers what I’ve prioritized: safety (over love).
So, how can a person find emotional and physical safety in love (or a relationship with another human being)?
Untangling Mixed Messages:
The first step towards getting our heart’s desire is clarifying what we want and why. Get curious. It doesn’t have to be one value over another; we can have it all!
Step 1 - Get Clear
Want to know one of the most challenging questions you’ll ever hear? Here it goes - what do you want? This question is so tricky because it’s so vague. We want so much that it’s difficult to boil our wants down to just a few things, so we come out blank.
The trick is to ask yourself specific questions:
What do you want to accomplish today?
How would you feel if you accomplished that?
What do you wish you could have right now?
What kinds of people would you like to be friends with?
What types of relationships sound fulfilling?
What are you craving for dinner today?
When you boil it down like this, you’ll notice that your wants will emerge if you ask yourself specific questions.
Step 2 - Untangle Your Wants
When we’re entangled with other people, such as our parents, family, bosses, etc., it becomes difficult to differentiate our wants from theirs.
I once heard a story about a woman who regularly cut the ends off a ham before baking. When asked why she did that, she said it was because her mother and grandmother did the same. It turns out that the grandmother started this ritual because her baking pan was smaller than the ham. She had to cut off the ends to make the ham fit. As time passed, they could afford larger baking pans, yet they kept cutting off the ends as if it were tradition.
This is why it’s so important to investigate your habits. It’ll be challenging to address all of them, but you could start by noticing or jotting them down.
What are the things you always do?
Why do you do them?
Do they still serve you? What could better serve you now?
You’ll see that some habits or behaviors still serve you perfectly while others are outdated.
Step 3 - Understand the bigger picture.
Expectations and societal norms can sometimes put us at odds with our goals. We get subtly or overtly told a story about who we are and how we’re supposed to behave. It’s important to uncover these hidden obstacles. For example, if society doesn’t view Latinas as wealthy, achieving my financial goals will be much more difficult. If a person feels like a leader at heart, but the stereotype is that they belong to a group with high instances of crime - you can see how the needs of an individual clash with the beliefs and biases of an entire society.
People have to face their resistance and society’s resistance at the same time. It’s a lot of work. But it’s not impossible.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Start with external circumstances and work your way into internal circumstances.
What does society think about my culture?
How do I fit into society?
How am I supposed to be acting?
What do I think about myself?
How do I want to act or present myself in the world?
Who do I want to be?
This leads me to step 4.
Step 4 - Have conversations about your wants in safe spaces.
I recently shared with a friend that I’m working with a life coach to uplevel my life. This person harshly judged my decision. The lesson is to reach out to people who will celebrate and give non-judgmental feedback about your decisions.
Having safe conversations is vital to bringing your heart’s desires to life. Otherwise, your dreams are nothing more than thoughts in your mind. Talking to safe people will often give clues about what steps you need to take next.
I’ve even found that I’ll ask my friends a question, and they might not have the answers, but I’ll find my answer somewhere else when I least expect it. Something about asking a question out loud allows the universe to lead you to opportunities to take your life to the next level. So don’t be shy when it comes to your dreams. Get brave and ask out loud.
Final Thoughts:
Mixed desires are blocking you from getting what you truly want in life. Most of us unconsciously prefer safety over even our biggest dreams. This is because our ego thinks it can only protect us within what’s known. Our dreams are usually found in the unknown spaces outside our comfort zone. So if we value comfort over exploration, our dreams may never manifest.
According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, 88% of all accidents happen within 10 miles from home, with most happening 0.2 miles from home. This example shows how our comfort zone may not be as safe as we think. We go on autopilot mode and stop paying attention to details that may later become important.
We might overidentify with other people’s needs as our own and end up going down paths that don’t truly light us up. The more we can identify and fulfill our true needs, the more we can give to the world. And friends, therapists, and coaches can help us find the clarity needed to ask the universe better questions.
The universe is here to support us every step of the way. The only thing we need to be worthy of receiving is the courage to ask for what we want.
Amor y Canela,
Monica
